Cynthia Larsen - Sonoma County Real Estate Broker

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Home Buying 101: How to get fired

Home Buying 101: How to get fired ... by your AGENT

  1. Every time you meet with your agent, mention how home buying is accomplished on HGTV.
  2. Be late for every showing.
  3. Send your agent listings from ZT&R daily, asking why they are not on the list of homes he/she plans to show you.
  4. Insist that you need a 4 bedroom home, then ask to see 3 bedroom homes on the chance that there just might be a cubby hole where you can stick a kid.
  5. Keep asking to see homes that are tens of thousands of dollars priced above your maximum.
  6. Refuse to look at homes 10 miles away from your desired area that ARE in your price range.
  7. Keep insisting that this is a buyers market.
  8. Ask your agent to write an offer $60K below asking on a house that is already in contract, "just in case".
  9. Bring your kids to every showing and let them run amok.
  10. Don't listen to a word your AGENT is saying, you obviously know the market better than them.

 

Home Buying 101: How to get fired ... by your BUYER

  1. When a buyer wants to see a home, ask them to wait until Sunday because there will be an open house between 1 and 4.
  2. Instruct your buyer to call the listing agent directly for showings. Train them to say "I already have an agent, but he/she is busy, can you show me your listing?"
  3. Don't answer your phone, that's what voice mail is for.
  4. Keep sending your buyer listings that don't even come close to matching their criteria.
  5. Let your buyer know that if they don't want to put an offer on a house, you have another buyer who will.
  6. Gamble with your buyers money and advise them to submit a ridiculously high offer, knowing that the property won't appraise.
  7. Find fault with every listing that comes along that doesn't have a desirable agent compensation structure.
  8. Forget to mention that you are going on vacation for two weeks and that your buyer will be dealing with their assistant during escrow.
  9. Bring your kids to every showing and let them run amok.
  10. Don't listen to a word your BUYER is saying, you obviously know what they want more than they do.

 

Cynthia Larsen (707-332-2560) is an independent broker and owner of Safe Haven Realty in Sonoma County, California. Visit www.safehavenrealty.com to view available homes for sale and to learn more about this beautiful wine country destination.

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Comment balloon 29 commentsCynthia Larsen • July 11 2015 10:50AM
Home Buying 101: How to get fired
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